Getting back to writing
After a period in which my writing space was a site of unwieldy anxiety, I am back to writing. What helped you ask? I must give credit to my source: Robert Boice's Advice to New Faculty Members.
Boice's book deals with both teaching and writing in order to solve the problem of one's first few years of academic employment...that is, how to find time to prepare lectures and, concurrently, how to carve out time for writing in the precious few moments left. It turns out that it is also an excellent resource for graduate students.
I have never been one to suffer from procrastination. But in the wake of a vexed relationship with a faculty member (what a recent PhD friend calls an "obstructionist"), I became infected with acute writer's block. After experiencing many stages of grief, I was ready to do something about it. Robert Boice seemed to pinpoint the exact place to begin my writing therapy. He encourages his readers simply to sit at one's writing desk for ten minutes a day; no work needs to be done, but, instead, one meditates on making peace with one's writing space. (Yes, I needed to begin with this stage.) It works, though.
In reading books about writing or creativity blocks, I have noticed a consistent tone of religiosity. In other words, many of these kinds of resources ask the reader to appeal to the "Source," or God, and so on. Boice doesn't speak in this language, per se, but he urges a sense of meditation, especially in the early stages. For me, as a Buddhist, this was a great opportunity! (I am also quite fond of Natalie Goldberg's Writing Down the Bones which weaves together Zen Buddhism and writing.)
Thus, for about a week, with a word document up on the screen, I sat cross-legged in front of my computer and attempted to clear my mind. As one does in meditation, I tried to release thoughts, especially the tormenting, anxious thoughts. Within a few days, I looked forward to my writing space; it was a place of calm. Boice then suggested writing -- writing without censorship. This is what Julia Cameron, author of The Artist's Way, calls "Morning Pages," and what others call "free-writing." I am still in this stage, struggling to make it a daily habit.